Terms of Use

Welcome to The Useless Husband!

By using our service, you agree to these terms. Please read them carefully. We know that's like telling you to read the instruction manual, but we promise this one's important (and slightly entertaining).

Account Responsibilities

As a user of The Useless Husband, you agree to:

• Provide accurate information about yourself and your partner (we can't help you if we don't know when your anniversary actually is).
• Maintain the confidentiality of your password. If someone else logs into your account and finds out you need an app to remember your anniversary, that's on you.
• Take responsibility for all activities that occur under your account (yes, even if you "accidentally" dismiss that important reminder).

Service Description

The Useless Husband provides reminders for important dates, gift suggestions, and other tools to help you be a better partner. However, we cannot guarantee:

• That your partner will like the gifts we suggest (we're good, but we're not mind readers).
• That our reminders will definitely reach you (check your spam folder before blaming us).
• That using our service will transform you from a "useless husband" to "husband of the year" overnight (that requires actual effort on your part).

The "No Excuse" Clause

By using our service, you acknowledge that you no longer have a valid excuse for forgetting important dates. "The app didn't remind me" falls under the category of "lame excuses" and won't hold up in the Court of Relationship Law.

Intellectual Property

All content on The Useless Husband, including but not limited to text, graphics, logos, and gift suggestions, is our intellectual property. You may not use it without our permission.

However, you are allowed to take full credit for the thoughtful gift ideas we provide. We won't tell if you don't.

Limitation of Liability

The Useless Husband is not liable for:

• Any nights spent on the couch due to ignored reminders.
• Gift-related disappointment if you choose to disregard our carefully curated suggestions.
• The cost of couples therapy if our service couldn't save your relationship (some things are beyond even our capabilities).

Changes to Terms

We may update these terms from time to time. Unlike your vague promise to "change" after forgetting an important date, when we say we're making changes, we actually mean it. We'll notify you of any significant updates.

Termination

We reserve the right to terminate your account if you:

• Consistently ignore our reminders (what's the point then?).
• Use our service to make your partner believe you remembered important dates on your own (the dishonesty clause).
• Violate any of these terms or engage in improper use of our platform.

Contact

If you have questions about these terms, contact us at terms@theuselesshusband.com.

And yes, we'll respond even if you don't send a follow-up "Did you get my email?" message every 12 hours.